Ladies and gentlemen - fashion in Minnesota:
So we all know that Minneapolis is the mecca of fashion, right? (queue the obvious laugh track) When greeted with the opportunity to attend Cabaret Catwalk, one of Minnesota Fashion Week's exciting fashion shows (laugh track), I thought: heck, why not? First, I'll get to head out with the gals for some dinner and a show, and the show can't really be that bad, right? (laugh track)
In the end, the show really was that bad. Nah, probably worse than bad. But the company (Maria and Amber) made it more than worth it. We had a lovely dinner at The Modern in Northeast Minneapolis - which, between Maria's pregnancy and my insatiable hunger these days, was inhaled in record timing. Yum, beefy pancakes, YUM!! Then the show was conveniently located next door, and the tickets at will call were even more conveniently attached to complimentary drink tickets. Enter my inaugural foray into the world of really yummy cider:
Amber and I had awesome seats, and I'd love to share the experience with you. If you never catch a single Minnesota fashion show in your life, at least you'll know what you're missing (laugh track):
But the laughs! Oh, the healing, embracing laughs armed with endless sarcasm!! You have to understand, this Cabaret Catwalk fashion show was not a fashion show as much as it was an attempt at theatrical performance-- of the most amateur form. I'm talking Gay 90s and reject community theatre dancers dressed in vapid Ragstock rags, makeup applied by a member of KISS, and choreography that would make Britney Spears's sympathy-inducing VMA's performance of '07 look believable. Not just bad. Painful. But beyond the performance itself, this is a fashion show, right? So the garments should have at least hint towards fashionability, no? (laugh track) No, I'm serious here. Amber and I questioned many times if this was a joke, or if the apparent use of someone's 12-year-old sister's leftover dance costumes and lackluster "styling" was a big part of the joke or just another reason why saying the words "Minnesota Fashion Week" is like a contradiction in terms.
Ok, ok, I digress. I understand that this was one of many "fashion shows" during Minnesota Fashion Week, and that the others may have been a step up from the JCPenny's finest we witnessed. Suffice to say, I'm a tad gun shy at the prospect of giving it another go next year.
No matter- Maria and Amber, I THANK you for the laughs, and for a lovely time the whole night through. Can't say I'll support the MN Fashion Week ever again after a showing like that, but if it's sandwiched between amazing dinner prior to and delightful cocktails after, well, I'll be up for another good laugh I suppose (laugh track).
On Kat: Rachel Roy harem pants, Alternative Apparel tee, L.A.M.B. booties
*Styx, signing off