New Age Christianity: the fist bump
Imagine Moses and Jesus not hugging, kissing, or washing one another's feet - as was standard practice back in the days of camel riding and miracle making - but instead, they gave one another a hug-it-up-homey fist bump. Not likely. But apparently, in these days of H1N1 scares and hypersensitive hypercondriacs, the fist bump has replaced the standard sign of peace handshake.
Just in case you're living in a pre-Vatican cave, here's how Wikipedia defines the "fist bump":
The fist bump (also known as "fo' knucks") is a type of gesture similar in meaning to a handshake, high five or nose rub. A bump also can be known as a symbol of giving of respect. Fist bumps can also be followed by various other hand and body gestures, and may be part of a dap greeting.
Also known as "fo' knucks"? A dap greeting? Oh this is too much. I didn't experience this first hand (admittedly, it's been a liiiiiiittle while since I've been to church), but instead I got this revelation second hand from a colleague who was astonished to get the new-age handshake from a bunch of blue hairs at mass on Sunday. She, too, hadn't praised the Lord from the pews in a dog's age and, when turning to give the sign of peace to the other early morning service-goers only to be greeted with fist bumps, first thought "gee, this woman doesn't have fingers". Until she looked around and realized the entire church was peace-ing it up homey-style.
If you never before believed that the media can turn a bunch of civilized people into frightened crazies, believe it now. And imagine your grandparents, when directed by the priest to "turn to one another, and offer a sign of peace", doing this:
Call me crazy, but that's just too far out. But I'm also the type of person who will give milk the sniff test past the expiration date and not bathe my toddler every day of the calendar year, so don't take my word for it. Although, I will say that all this gangsta lovin' makes me want to go to church on Sunday, just for laughs (and fo' knucks). Ha!
(image courtesy of wikipedia.com)